I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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