I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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