don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize