I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
