yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
