i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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