god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
