god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize