i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
