just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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