Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
