my mouth tastes like poor choices
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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