She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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