Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
