Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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