party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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