my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
