you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
