I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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