you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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