That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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