Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
