i don't like sucking hair
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
