He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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