How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
