You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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