Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he shaved USA in his pubs
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
