a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
