That's intense
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
