so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
