i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
