I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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