A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
