the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
