If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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