I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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