i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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