I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
