Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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