zippers are such a cool invention
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I am naked and annoyed.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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