I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
