No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
