You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
