This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
