I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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