I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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