fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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