her vagine was all disorganized.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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