if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
