that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
