the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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