He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
