covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You made out with two different species that night
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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