Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
