Is it normal to miss your booty call?
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
