FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
