Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
