its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
