My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
