five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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