There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
