You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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