so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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