he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
