i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize