My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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